Hello, world. It comes to my attention that you have all decided to commit suicide. Not a real one, of course, but a sort of, implied suicide. You have started to ignore those who are trying to help and those who are in need of it. Confiding in yourself is the only form of friendship you have. I plan to change all these things about you.
If you wish for this to happen you must do two things:
1. You must submit to ALL of my theories and procedures
2. You must tell no-one about this blog. Let them discover it on their own.
That's it. Future posts will be made and you will be able to see a recognizable difference in all aspects of your life within a few short weeks of reading.